Saturday, March 5, 2011

inch by inch

I'm writing this post from the dressing room of our last performance of Faust . I'm sitting here in my strawberry blond wig, looking at myself and feeling like I am in for a big life change. This week, my friend Laura pegged my Enneagram type as a 4. (If you've never checked out Enneagram testing, you should; it is pretty cool!) Type 4s are artists. They love creating things, and that includes constantly reinventing themselves. The most exciting times of my life have been marked with reinvention. I am feeling ready to reinvent myself now. I can feel it on the horizon. I am restless and excited. I'm pretty sure that when I'm reinvented, I will still be a blonde, though.

Sometimes I have this fear that I'm going to wake up one day and my potential life as a photographer is all going to be a dream, or I won't be able to book clients, or some other irrational fear. Staring a business is scary. I am the type of personality that plans and plans and plans, which makes the process all the more exciting. I like to have spreadsheets and to make lists and to know exactly what steps I have to go through to reach my goals. Sometimes, when I just sit back and let myself think about this whole process, it is sort of terrifying. There are so many little tasks to complete when you run a small business that at times it can seem insurmountable. But there is something about that feeling that stirs something inside of me and makes me excited to conquer the insurmountable, and to do what seems impossible. I know how good it will feel when I get there, and how much I will have grown as a business owner and a person and a photographer. 

Now, on to complete my to-do list and stretch myself and try the unexpected, and reach my goals! I'll do it with my camera in hand. I have been learning more about my new camera recently, and I was playing around with taking some ring shots of our wedding rings. My photographer didn't get a ring shot on my wedding day and so I need one for my album. This is one option...I love sparkles!

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